A Wealth of Information
Letter-Writing
(This is taken from S. A. Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society.)
NO one should write letters at all who cannot write in a clear, fair hand, that “those who run may read.” In a busy age like the present, when every one’s time has a certain value, we have no right to impose the reading of hieroglyphics upon our correspondents. “I’s” should be dotted, “t’s” crossed, and capitals used in their proper places, and only the most obvious abbreviations indulged in. Punctuation is equally de regueur; the most unimportant letters should be carefully punctuated; and the habit is so easily acquired, and so simple, that after a while it entails no more time or thought than dotting the “i’s.”
The handwriting of a lady or gentleman should not be commercial or scholastic, but firm and characteristic. All affectations in writing should be avoided, such as sloping one’s hand to the left, the use of flourishes, undue size in the characters, or a diminutiveness of the same to try eyesight and patience. The signature should be simple and unostentatious. Nothing can be more absurd than to see a person whose name can have no significance to the world in general, sign himself as elaborately as if he were the Pope or President at least.
Underlining should only be resorted to when the underlined word is of really great importance. Many ladies carry this practice to excess, and so rob it of all significance, as a speaker who emphasized every other word would not be heeded when he needed to be emphatic. What can be more absurd than such a sentence as the following:
“We are all very sorry to hear that you cannot come to visit us this summer, as we expected, and wish your business was not so engrossing.”
For the ordinary correspondence of a lady or gentleman it is advisable to use white note-paper of good quality, and the size distinguished as “commercial note.”
If monograms or initials are used, they should be as simple as possible, and in white or black only. Gilt or colored monograms are in bad taste.
Red sealing-wax is admissible only for business letters, and wafers are entirely out of style.
In mourning, the paper and envelopes may have a black border suitable to the relationship of the dead, and the length of time the mourning has been worn. In the deepest mourning, exaggerations of black border are unbecoming and in bad taste. Real grief is always unostentatious.
No letter should contain erasures under any circumstances.
The stamp should be placed exactly in the right-hand corner of the envelope; it must neither be up-side-down, nor slanting, nor in any way carelessly affixed. Negligence in these matters evinces a rudeness to the person to whom you write, as hinting that you think anything will do.
Blots and smears are almost too gross pieces of carelessness to be commented upon. After ten years of age, they are entirely inexcusable.
Never omit your own name and address from a letter, whether of business or friendship.
In writing to persons with whom you are but slightly acquainted, use as few words as possible. You are not authorized in taking up much of their time. It is only in correspondence with very intimate friends that long letters are permissible. If occasion necessitates a letter to a very busy person, politeness requires that it should be framed as curtly as is consistent with civility and perspicuity. It is unpardonable to waste really valuable time, because we do not choose to be at the trouble of concentrating our thoughts and sparing our words.
In writing to our friends or acquaintances, we should never communicate bad news abruptly; but should lead the way to it in such a manner as to soften the blow. A great deal of pain may be avoided by a proper choice of words.
We should scrupulously avoid writing too frequently, or at too great a length, of our own losses and misfortunes. To do this is merely thoughtless egotism. We may have a right to expect sympathy from our friends, but we have no right to make our letters inflictions. Letters should invariably be written cheerfully if possible, and, at least, in a tone of resignation.
An ill-tempered letter is as great a mistake as a lachrymose one. Nothing is so inexpedient as to write a letter in a fit of indignation and anger. If you must give way to your feelings, write your letter, but let it remain unposted until the next day; read it over then, and you will probably put it in the fire.
It is better, if possible, to seek an interview with the person who has wronged or affronted you. Spoken recrimination or reproof is forgotten; but when you have once written down and issued your angry thoughts, they are irrevocable, and a sure source of after regret.
In dealing with those who may have treated you unfairly, be civil in your letters. Be as haughty as you please, and state your grievance in plain, unvarnished terms, and there end. If the truth does not sting, nothing you can add to it will do so; and vituperation, though it does not injure the person upon whom you bestow it, injures your own cause, and detracts seriously from the proper dignity of your own position.
In writing, as in conversation, egotism is a capital offence. We have no more right to be egotistic on paper than we have a right to be dull or disagreeable. A letter should be like a visit, bright, inspiriting, and a reflex of our best mood. Above all, it should be kind and sympathetic.
There are letters whose arrival we hail as we should that of a new book by a delightful writer, or the visit of a brilliant acquaintance.
Again, there are others, the delivery of which, anticipating all the dullness and verbosity with which they are certain to be filled, we dread like the incursions of a well-known bore. Who would not wish to be the writer of the one? Who would not take any amount of pains with his correspondence to avoid being dreaded as the other?
Always answer any letter that may be addressed to you, no matter who the writer may be. If the letter be from one who has no business to write to you, nevertheless acknowledge it, and by your style and manner check further impertinence. Thus:
WASHINGTON, D. C., Jan. 7th, 18-. SIR:
I write to acknowledge the receipt of your letter of the 5th inst., acquainting me with your opinion of my speech in Congress on the 27th ultimo.
I am, sir,
Your obedient servant,
JAMES M. ---
Mr. P. C. LITTLETON,
Philadelphia.
Business letters generally have the name of the firm or person to whom they are addressed written above the “Gentlemen.” or “Sir,” as:
“Messrs. DICK & FITZGERALD:
“Gentlemen,”
Or,
“JOHN BROWN, ESQ.:
“Dear sir.”
The name of the place from which the letter is written, the date, the full name of writer and receiver, should be given in some part of a letter. The practice of heading a note “Monday,” without a date, and signing it “Charlie,” is very embarrassing; it makes it difficult to answer a note unless immediately, when the day of the week can be readily identified with the day of the month, and when the receiver knows who his correspondent really is. Besides this, in the event of the letter miscarrying, it cannot be returned if there be no surname attached to the signature. A most important lawsuit in London was lost by a letter, of great value and significance otherwise, being dropped from the evidence for want of identification, being directed, “Dearest Tootings,” and signed, “Your loving Poppets.” It may seem absurd that a letter of weight could contain such silliness; but it was a fact.
Do not write on scraps of paper, as if your correspondence were not worth the cost of a proper sheet. Neither use old envelopes turned, as some people are wont to do.
Always be sure that your letter has sufficient stamps upon it to fully prepay its weight.
Do not enclose stamps for an answer unless the matter be a business one, and your own proper affair.
Should you send manuscript subject to approval to an editor, enclose stamps sufficient to pay for its return. You have no right to put another to this expense, especially as you already require from him a sacrifice of time, in order to look over what you have sent.
Anonymous communications are both cowardly and ill-bred. Under no circumstances should they be written. The fire is the only fit asylum for them when received. The Gunpowder Plot might have been revealed openhandedly, and the anonymous letter even in that case nearly missed its aim. The only anonymous communications which can be tolerated are the harmless missives called valentines. These, however, have fallen out of favor in polite society. Children and servants are the chief supporters of the manufacturers of the gorgeous love-letters.
In writing to a person who is the guest of another, take care to place the name of the host or hostess on the cover of your letter. Some people address the letter in such a case to the host, and inscribe the name of their correspondent in the left-hand corner, thus:
JAMES GORDON, ESQ.,
No. 347 --- Street,
New York.
For Mrs. T. C. BATES.
This practice is very likely to lead to an unintentional opening of the letter by the wrong person; for a cursory glance at the cover would seem to show that the letter was intended for the person whose name was most prominent. The letter should have been directed, to the person for whom it was intended first, thus:
Mrs. T. C. BATES,
Care of JAMES GORDON, Esq.,
No. 347 --- Street,
New York.
Unless very well acquainted with your correspondent, do not use terms implying intimacy.
Business letters usually commence with “Sir,” “Gentlemen,” “Dear Sir,” or “Dear Sirs,” and end with, “I am, Sir (or Gentlemen), Your obedient servant,” etc.
Official letters invariably begin with the title of the person addressed, and then “Sir,” if a civilian or the rank of an officer.
If the letter be to the head of a Department, to a high Government official, or to a superior officer, it is customary to write in a strain a little more deferential than ordinary, so that, instead of saying, as you would to a friend, “I have to acquaint you,” “I have to acknowledge the receipt of your letter,” you would say, “I have the honor to acknowledge.” The ending, too, of such letters should be slightly different: “I have the honor to be, General, Your obedient servant,” taking the place of “I am, sir,” etc.
In official communications, margins are always left, so as to allow of notations being made for the purpose of framing an answer, and the backs of the pages should be left blank for the same purpose. It is not customary to write down quite to the bottom of the page, but to take ample room for the substance of the letter.
Unless writing officially, or to some public person, it is not customary in this country to give a man all the titles which may belong to him.
Remember that “brevity is the soul of wit.” Let your letters be concisely written, not too bluntly, but in a clear, straightforward style, going at once to the subjects you desire to mention, with as little preamble as possible. Use the passive instead of the active voice. To do so prevents the continual thrusting forward of the first person singular into the letter, and gives a more modest appearance to the text.
Short notes to strangers on business—as, for instance, in reference to the character of a servant, asking for some information, etc.—should be written in the third person singular, thus:
“Mrs. Wright presents her compliments to Mrs. Left, and will feel greatly obliged by any information respecting the character and qualifications of Jane Broom, who has applied for a situation as housemaid in Mrs. Wright’s household.
“No.27 F--- Street, Jan 9th, 1869.”
The answer should also be written in the third person, and should contain as much information as possible relative to the points inquired about, stating whether the servant is honest, sober, and truthful, and what is her experience of her disposition and habits.
In writing to a servant, or to one considerably below your own station, the following form may be used:
“Jane Broom is hereby informed that Mrs. Wright is willing to engage her as housemaid from the 15th of January, 1869.
“No. 27 F Street, Jan. 10th, 1869.” Or this:
“Jane Broom—your character is satisfactory, and you can enter my service on Saturday, the 15th of January.”
Or this:
“Mrs. Wright is satisfied with Jane Broom’s character, and informs her that she may enter Mrs. Wright’s service as housemaid on Saturday next.”
In sending any communication to a newspaper or magazine, address to “The Editor,” and not to any private person connected with the publication. By so doing, you will better secure attention than if you trouble the editor at his own house by addressing him by his own name. Besides this, some one may be acting for the editor, and if he sees the packet addressed to the name of the absentee, he will not feel free to open it, but will send it to him, whereby confusion and delay, possibly loss of the manuscript, may ensue.
There are six parts to every letter: the date, the complimentary address, the body of the letter, the complimentary closing, the signature, the address or superscription; thus:
(Date) PETERSBURG, Va., June 18th, 1869.
(Complimentary address) JAMES MUNROE, Esq.:
DEAR Sir:
(Body of the letter) Your most welcome letter, announcing your intention of visiting our city, reached me this morning. I hasten to answer to beg that you will make my house your home during your stay, and inform me by what train I may expect you, that I may meet you at the depot. Leaving all else for the first conversation,
(Complimentary closing) I am, my dear friend,
YOURS VERY TRULY,
(Signature) P. T. JONES.
(Address or Superscription)
JAMES MUNROE, ESQ., Bangor, Maine.
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